Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Moving, Moving, Moving

Edmonton, Alberta is where I met my husband.  He's a member of the Canadian Air Force, so we have moved every 3 or 4 years since we've been together.  Our first move together was to Vancouver Island in 2000, where we were married in 2002.  Doesn't seem that long ago, and seems almost a lifetime ago at the same time.

I was almost 30, and that was it.  Everything started to fall apart. I couldn't hide anything anymore. I was gaining weight for no reason, I was exhausted all the time, I started getting rages (omg the rages were horrible!), and the anxiety was showing in the strangest situations.  As I'm thinking about the things that happened back then, all I can think is "Wow!  How did I get through that?".  One particular instance comes to mind.

We were having some friends over for drinks and snacks.  Someone brought some sandwiches.  When I put them in the bottom of the fridge, I asked him to remind me where I'd put them in case I forget.  Sort of an out of sight, out of mind thing. Well, when the time came to take them out, I got upset when they wanted to open the bottom drawer and take them out.  I have no idea why I was upset. Talk about being embarrassed.  I've never felt so humiliated in all my life.  How did I forget?  And why did it bother me?  Why was I so upset?  I remember one of them asking me, "Nancy, what's wrong with you?" and all I could say is "I don't know."  I truly did not have an answer.  So I went to the doctor for the first time for help.

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