Saturday, January 07, 2012

Internet Search

It didn't actually take me very long to find a chat site online about thyroid diseases. I was lucky. The first one I joined had the best people. They shared their stories, their knowledge, their fears, hopes and dreams. It breaks my heart that site is no longer available today. It was their knowledge that I trusted and counted on. They explained how I should have the anti-TPO blood test to see if I had Hashimoto's disease. How anyone who is diagnosed hypothyroid should have that simple blood test done. (It's also called a TPO Ab test.) They also suggested a FNA (fine-needle aspiration). So I went to my regular doctor and asked for that blood test specifically. The doctor didn't object. I told him I just wanted to be sure I had hypothyroidism rather than Hashimoto's disease. The test took 4 days. During that time I just went on about my days as though I was sure of the results.
The day I was told I had Hashimoto's disease, I was in shock. I told the ladies on the chat site and they offered lots of support, but it didn't really sink in. Not at first. I'm not even sure when it hit me. I was in the middle of adapting to a new dose of thyroid meds and I still felt terrible. My symptoms were jumping up and down. Severe for a few days, then not too bad for a day or two. I was taking online classes and my energy was needed to get good grades. One night I was working on my Corporate Finance project when I just fell apart. I stopped what I was doing, dropped my pencil and just started to cry. I felt like someone had just given me a death sentence. In my mind, that's exactly what they did.

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