Thursday, August 23, 2012

Up? Down? Good? Bad? Pause?

I'd like to put something cryptic here, but the fact remains that I'm in a state of waiting. I'm testing things out. Taking adaptogens every day, sticking to the same dose of my thyroid medication, and trying to get to bed at 10pm every day. The bed time is the killer so far. I'm just not sticking to it, which means my cortisol is not being produced like it should, which means I'm tired. Very tired every day. Without proper rest, things are taking longer. My adrenals can't heal if I don't get my rest, and I need my rest at the proper time of day, which is between 10pm and 7am. Napping in the afternoon isn't really the best way to catch up on sleep. Maybe I need to adopt my parents' house rules where 9pm is lights out. Of course that never worked when I lived there, so I can't imagine it would work now.

So I'm just waiting. Once I get my sleeping patterns fixed, then my adrenals will follow suit. I've read it can take 2 years or more to heal the adrenals. Seems like such a long time. But when I think about it, I've never slept at night without the help of some sort of sleeping aid. Alcohol was a big help during my high school and college years. Alcohol also helped wear down my adrenals too. Nowadays I'm just living 'clean' as some call it. Nothing except non-manufactured foods. Yes, I crave chocolate so much I dream about it. LOL. At least I know things will get better and the weather is beautiful. Since I have to wait, this is the time of year I'd choose to do it.

I've had lots of people over the years, tell me that everyone has logical places to pause in their life. Whether it's to learn a lesson, teach one, or just reflect upon ourselves. I guess this is one of those for me. A logical place to pause in my life. I have no idea what this pause in my life is for, but I think I'll do my best to find as much peace as I can.

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Lose Weight

Seems like such a simple request. The problem is, when you have Hashimoto's disease, you have to choose very carefully where you use up your energy. No matter what commercials say, energy doesn't come in a bottle. So in order to workout, I would have to skip making the bed, making breakfast, walking the dogs, or getting dressed. I would hope my jammies are up to par, because there won't be the energy to go buy more for at least a couple of days. I would also have to take into consideration that I'd need to shower and change my clothes when I'm done my workout.  Usually, that ends up being a bath so I can sit while waiting for the tub to fill, sit and take my time washing, then sit on the edge of the tub to air dry because I won't have the energy to dry off. Then it's nap time. So much for that after workout protein I'm suppose to eat. Oops! I'm still in my towel. No energy left to put clothes on. But my dogs want outside again. Sure wish someone was here to take them out. Polar has to stay leashed because he has a torn ACL and isn't allowed to run yet.

Now, even though I'm getting better, I still have to consider carefully what I'm going to do today and what I will have to put off for another day. I can take my dogs outside several times a day now, I can make something to eat once or twice a day now, and I can shower and get dressed every day now. Big improvement. But I still have to be careful when I want to workout. I like to do my TurboFire or P90X workouts, but then I'm done for the day. So I cut the workouts short, because I will need to shower and change too. Then I barely have the energy to make a protein shake and sit with the pups outside afterwards. I know the pups would like to walk around, but they see I'm out of energy, so they sit with me.

As for eating. Well, mostly that's a no-no. Protein shakes make up the majority of my meals. Partly because of the calorie content, vitamin content and partly because it doesn't require a ton of energy to make. But you do what you have to do. Adapt and change. Since we can't change this disease, we have to change ourselves and what we do.

Monday, August 06, 2012

How Do I Feel?

Well, today I'm feeling pretty good. Actually, most days I'm pretty good now. It still amazes me that a synthetic thyroid T4 medication could make me feel so crappy. But I still wake up mentally prepared to be in crippling pain, ready to take some pain killers before I get out of bed. So when I roll over and realize I'm not in pain, I smile. It's nice to wake up now. It's nice knowing I can get up, shower, get dressed, and not be completely worn out. I'm beginning to adapt to this new life and this new body. I often forget that I'm not going to be exhausted just by walking to the washroom. I even still mentally plan a nap before I have to go anywhere. I still think about limiting the things I need to do in a day so I won't run out of energy before tasks are finished. Doing more than one load of laundry in a day feels very strange to me. Before I switched to NDT, I had days that I could barely load the washing machine and the clothes would sit in there for another day or two before I would have enough energy to put them in the dryer. And then it would be another day or two still before the pain would subside enough for me to put the clothes on hangers. Forget about carrying them all to my closet. It was easier to dress in the laundry room, stick to clothes I could wash together, and put the dirty clothes directly into the washer.

Ya. I don't miss those days. I won't forget them, that's for sure, but I won't miss them. I'm still not 100%, but in comparison to what I was before, I'm doing amazing. I still have to figure out these adrenals, get my sleeping patterns fixed, and then wait for my doctor to increase my dose of NDT until I'm good. Should only be a few more months.